


What I Did Last Night

by Emrys MK (mk_malfoy)



Series: Merlin Episodes: AUs, Missing Scenes, and Inspired By [9]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bathing/Washing, Blow Jobs, Canon Era, Consensual Sex, Dubious Consent, Episode: s04e03 The Wicked Day, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 20:46:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4975915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mk_malfoy/pseuds/Emrys%20MK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after Uther’s death, Arthur is grieving and finds comfort in the arms of his servant, Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Did Last Night

**Title:** What I Did Last Night  
**Author:** Emrys MK  
**Pairing(s)/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur  
**Summary:** A week after Uther's death, Arthur is grieving and finds comfort in the arms of his servant, Merlin.  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word count:** 1425  
**Warnings:** possibly dub-con at the beginning  
**Date Written:** October 10, 2015  
**Author notes:** Just a short fic I wrote in a few hours. I'm not sure how old Arthur was when his father was killed. I don't think we were ever told, so I used the fact that the show spanned ten years as my basis for guessing.

~*~

Twenty-seven is too young to be king. I'm not ready. Everyone assures me I'm ready--that I'd all but taken over the duties of king already. Perhaps I had, but that was with the knowledge that my father was alive. Now he isn't and the thought of being on my own and having to make the decisions I'll be faced with makes me want to run as fast as I can and never stop. Of course, I'll never do that, but the thought remains.

If it wasn't for Merlin, I don't know what I'd do. He is the one person who has kept me sane through this nightmare. Gwen has been a great comfort and she means more to me than just about anyone, but her being around me as I want her to be just wouldn't be tolerated. My father just died. Rules can be changed and one day Gwen and I may be able to get married, but for now she can't be the one to help me. Merlin can and does. He makes sure I eat, he makes me go to bed at night, and he gets me out of bed in the morning. He writes my speeches for me, bathes me, dresses me, and last night, he even shared my bed with me.

I had vowed when Merlin came to be my servant that I would never bed him, even though I wanted to badly, so I really can't say why I decided last night to ask for Merlin's company, but what I do know is that I needed him like I had not needed him before, and he was there for me. I felt guilty for asking him and knowing that if Gwen found out she would be hurt, but not enough to not ask him. If Gwen finds out, then I will have to face that, and I will. 

I won't deny what I did with Merlin last night. I never meant any of it to happen, but it did and I'll never apologize for any of it, unless Merlin regrets it, then I will, but only if that happens.

It all started when he was giving me my bath after an emotional meeting I'd had with the knights, I hadn't been in a good mood when I returned and, once in the bath, I let my guard down and cried for the first time since my father's funeral. A week's worth of grief had built up and, as Merlin had said it would, it all came out. I doubt I've ever cried that much. I felt foolish, but it felt freeing and good to get everything out. Merlin wiped my tears and was gentle as he ran the cloth over my body and washed and rinsed my hair, and when I stepped out of the bath and turned to him, we'd stared into one another's eyes. Now, I can't say for sure, but I'm fairly certain Merlin has wanted to do things with me almost as much as I've wanted to do things with him, so I couldn't help it when I leant in and kissed him. He allowed it for several seconds before he pulled back and called out my name. When I opened my eyes and looked at him, he didn't look very happy as he told me I should go to bed, that it had been a long day. He was right, of course. I was exhausted, but I didn't want to be alone. So I asked him to stay with me, which was wrong since I had seen his reaction to my kiss, but at that point I was too far gone and knew I'd apologize later.

I told him I just wanted his company and that I wouldn't touch him. I promised him that. He looked uncomfortable, but agreed. And then he did something I hadn't expected. He leant in and kissed me. It so shocked me that I nearly pulled back, but then I gave in and we somehow made our way over to the bed and fell on it. Only then did he pull back and ask me if he had done anything wrong. I could have told him that it was I who had done something wrong, and I could have told him that it was against the laws of Camelot for a servant to make sexual advances toward their master, but I rather liked the attentions Merlin had been giving me, so I said no, that he had permission to do whatever he wished. I probably shouldn't have given him that power--I had initially planned to have Merlin remain motionless as l worshipped his body--but it was Merlin and he was being so very attentive and caring. I trust no one like I trust him, so I felt perfectly at peace giving him complete control of my body. I could do whatever I wanted to do with him later. 

He slowly divested me of my clothing, then he was in between my legs and that tongue of his was doing the most delicious things to my cock. I felt my orgasm building and then he swallowed me and I knew it was about to hit. I needed this, but I didn't think it fair for me to come and not him, so I reluctantly pulled him up and then we were kissing and he was grinding against me. It felt just about perfect, but his clothing was in the way, so the two of us got him naked, then continued and it was pure bliss. I've been with others, many others, but the oneness I felt with Merlin was one of those moments that will be seared in my memory forever. I know this only began because I was grieving and wasn't exactly in my right mind, but I don't regret a second of what we shared. When I finally entered him sometime later, he was such a needy lover and gave me the sweetest sounds that spurred me on as I pounded into him. He had his eyes closed and I told him to open them, that I wanted to see him when I sent him over the edge for the second time. He did and I've never seen beauty like I saw when Merlin's orgasm hit him. He shook and panted and keened and called out my name. Then I came and thought I would pass out. It took me a long while to come down from that high and I felt overly sensitive, but he caressed my face and swept the fringe from my eyes as I rode it out. After that we were both spent and soon fell asleep in each others arms, but I remember Merlin leaning over and kissing me, then he leant back and looked down at me. He smiled and asked if he had done well. I assured him he had, and then told him that I would be amenable to continuing this in future, but only if he was willing. 

I wanted him to know that he was obligated to do nothing. He thought about it a few seconds then leant in and kissed me again before assuring me he wanted this. I hope he meant it, but today it occurred to me that he might think he has no choice and that he needs to act as if it is okay for me to do this to him. I'm probably being mental about this and should believe him, but I've treated him so badly over the years. Why would Merlin ever want to be with me? I don't know why he would, but I won't question it. I need him too badly. He keeps me sane, and now that I've had a taste of him, I don't want to give him up. I will if he tells me this isn't what he wants, but until then, I need him.

My father would no doubt think me weak for needing Merlin as I do, and I know Agravaine would disapprove. My father isn't here and what Agravine thinks doesn't matter. I now have to make decisions the best way I can, and one of my decisions is to take comfort in the arms of someone who I feel comfortable with. It might be wrong of me to do this, but if it is, let it be my mistake and let me pay for it. Let me have this and if there are consequences, then so be it.


End file.
